ETERNITY

She thought she would have an eternal cry when she buried her face in the pillow. It all seemed like yesterday. Now, as she lay with her face pressed into the pillow, tears streaming down, a heavy lump in her throat, she was actually looking from the recent past to a distant future. Either these were real and she didn't understand, or these were all an illusion.

Yes, she was right to be upset, maybe a little, maybe less than a little. She hadn't seen her mother in almost two years. She missed her face and her voice, as she hadn't spoken to her in eight months. Yet, at the same time, she was excited. Going to Egypt felt like getting a little closer to the family she couldn’t reunite with.

The last time she spoke to her mother on October 6th. They had a video call, saying longing words to each other. Her father wasn’t home at the time because he had fallen ill and had gone to Egypt to stay with his eldest daughter.  There he went to hospital to receive treatment. His mother, older brother and two sisters were in Gaza. Later he called his sister and got information about his father. The last time was October 6th. It was an ordinary day. It could even be considered boring. Then everything changed.

On October 7th she woke up but by then, so much had already been lost. At first, events seemed familiar, she thought they were the same ones as repeated many times over the years. But then it turned into a pain that would never be erased in the hearts of those far away. Perhaps the impact was greater for the ones who lived it, for the people of Gaza. But perhaps what she felt was less than her relatives who were far away.

A person never truly understood anything until it actually happened to them. Even if it was someone, she was closest to, she didn't feel their pain as much as her own. Yet she didn't realize this and acted as if she understood everything. Just like she didn't understand the difference between forever and eternity.

When she went to Egypt to visit her sister, she was very happy because she would see his father, sister, and nephews. And in fact, she was only a border away from her mother, sisters, and brother. Just a wall, just a door away. So close, yet so far. Still, it gave her some comfort. She felt as if she could touch their hands if she reached out.

How lovely was man. He thought he could protect his loved ones, save his loved ones from a judgment. However, man did not have the strength to do any of these things.

She missed her mother so much, she wanted to show her son. She missed her so much; she wanted to hug her one more time. She knew that even if she hugged her a thousand times, it wouldn't be enough.

But that early morning, they fired four rockets at their broken-down home. That early morning, they ripped out his mother, his older brother, his four little nephews and his aunt from this world.

It wasn't even noon when the news arrived. They didn't know whether to scream with their heartbreaking pain but instead, only words of gratitude escaped their lips.  As tears flowed from their eyes, only gratitude dripped from their lips.

As she threw herself on the bed and buried her face in the pillow, she thought she would have an eternal cry. She thought this pain would never end and would last forever. But actually, she knew deep down. Eternity. Eternity was infinitely longer than forever.

Her mother who had set out for an eternal life, for eternal happiness, there were her sister and children whose pure eyes had not yet been touched by dirt.

They were eternally alive...

Eternally happy and successful...

In eternal peace. And so full of pleasure that he wanted to relive that final scene over and over again.

And there was also the one who would have eternal pain. Now walking around with his chest puffed up with the hatred inside him, walking with swagger, showing off with arrogance, but in the end, he would be consumed by eternal agony.

She knew that her grief would not last long. What meaning did a few months have in the face of eternity? After a while, she would move on with her life and return to Istanbul to her spouse with her child. But she would know—just like her brother, who was martyred ten years ago, and now her mother, sister-in-law, brother, and nephews who were also martyred—that she, too, was a witness.

She witnessed that they were in a place of indescribable fragrances, where rivers flowed beneath the trees, rejoicing at the greeting of "Selam Selam."

Yet she wept—not for them, but for her loss, for herself...

Even as she wept, she was happy. And even as she wept, her certainty was infinite.

How happy is the one who will live eternally...

How happy is the one who attains “Selam”...

How happy is the one who is determined with this hope and is patient...