BITTER SWEET HONEYMOON

 

Her eyes were shooting daggers…

- How come you couldn’t realize?!

- I—I—I didn’t know what to say… how I was supposed to tell you this?

Sarah and David were having one of the best time of their lives. It was their honeymoon, what could have gone wrong? They have been planning the wedding of their dreams for over a year. They made savings and step by step, BINGO! Everything was working according to the plan. Or at least, they thought so…

- How about, “Honey, I have to tell you something. I got fired. TWO WHOLE MONTHS AGO!!!” How can you not say anything about this?!

- OK, calm down…

- I AM CALM!

- Ugh…

Sarah is working at one of the best textile firms in the whole city while David is working at a huge electronics company as the regional manager. At least he was… Until two months ago…

David’s problem was not getting fired. He had savings and it was enough for them while he was looking for another job. His problem was, even though it wasn’t easy to admit, Sarah.

She has been making decisions for them since the beginning. She chose this 5-star hotel with a Michelin-starred restaurant. She chose the apartment they were living in. She chose the colors of the wedding to be lilac and white. She decided that David should be the regional manager even though he wanted to start his own firm. She was the one who said, “If you start your own business, it will take us such a long time to get married. It will drain all of your finances.”

Well, she was only right about the finance part. Throughout this whole marriage journey, she was the one who kept asking and never taking a step back. Sarah was going to have the “wedding in her dreams” at any cost. David, on the other hand, couldn’t say no to her. How could he? In his mind, Sarah was this Greek Goddess every man could ever hope for. He was marrying the woman in his dreams. He never thought giving this much and saying yes to her every wish would spoil her. It all erupted when he told Sarah that he got fired on their honeymoon. They were having such a great time, he thought that there wasn’t any way that she would be mad at him. Well, he was wrong…

Sarah erupted like a volcano destroying every living thing in front of her. She was mad, real mad… She had a plan and that plan required David to be a highly qualified businessman. Her dreams were devastated, how was she going to work out this marriage? Little did she know, the problem was her uncontrollable desires. If she had accepted David as who he was and stopped trying to control everything, none of her relationships would have had any problem.

Now, she was crying in their honeymoon suit wearing her silk outfit that she chose specially for this night, while David was out on the balcony having some fresh air. Both thinking “How are we going to get out of this problem and make this marriage work?”…

The secret to a happy marriage is not saying yes to everything your spouse asks for. Or it is not controlling everything happening around you. So how are we going to have a balanced relationship while maintaining happiness in our life?

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Experiential Design Teaching (DTÖ) aims at transferring experiences. There are a number of ways for transferring experiences. Among them, the best is the way that we transfer the experiences from the nature since the solution of all kinds of problems can be found in the nature. 

What can we do to solve our problems?

We should be able to differentiate between real and fake problems.

We should look for the real solutions once we identify the real problems.

How can we transfer from nature and thus, find solutions to our problems?

By being curious about reality rather than fake ones.

Not by looking at but seeing…Not by hearing but listening to…

And feeling…And thinking…And examining…